The FamousAgents.com Award for “Silly and Stupid Realtor Awards”
Isn’t is crazy how many Realtors in America claim to be #1. The question is… #1 at what? Any agent who has attended more than one office meeting or awards banquet can surely appreciate how proud we agents are of something. Anything, really.
You’ve no doubt noticed the amount of firewood – uh, excuse me, award plaques – on any seasoned Realtor’s office walls. And don’t forget the coveted certificates, badges, trophies, bobble-heads, and other hoopla.
But seriously, let’s take a look at what this all means.
First of all, Realtors use fuzzy math. One $200,000 sale translates to $400,000 of volume and TWO transactions (since both the Buyer’s agent and the Seller’s agent will count the whole $200K each). So, when a Realtor says they’ve sold $1 million in homes, you can assume that another Realtor is claiming that same $1 million. Unless of course, the listing agent sold it; then it would be $2 million… Clear as mud???
Second, what exactly do Realtors get awards for? Everything! Office meetings are littered with applause for #1 Mary Jane who earned the highest commission last month, and for #1 reliable Bob who turned in all his paperwork on time last quarter, and for #1 powerhouse Bill who listed more homes than any other agent in the office last year (none of them sold, but great job on getting those over-priced listings).
But the list does not stop there. We cannot forget the other all-important categories of awards: Most Completed Transactions, Most Expensive Home Sold, Most Trips to the Water Cooler, and so on. Calculate these numbers to find new awardees by day, week, month, quarter, year, decade, solar eclipse, full moon, and pow! You now have 387 certificates to fill out by the next office meeting — and that’s for an office of only 65 agents.
Drumroll please… The first annual FamousAgents.com “Silly and Stupid Realtor Awards” Award goes to our very own Keller Williams Realty office in Glendale, AZ. Here is a list of the actual categories we were asked to vote on for the upcoming awards banquet:
1) Most Upbeat- who is the most spirited, always has a positive attitude, great to be around, spreads cheer around the office.
2) Most Recognized Voice- if you were blindfolded, whose voice would you be able to recognize coming down the hall.
3) Spouter of Rhetoric- who is the “jester” of the office, most sarcastic, contributes humor vocally at Team Meetings, etc.
4) Best Confidante- who is the best listener, you can tell anything to this person, keeper of all the office secrets.
5) Best Dressed- this is obvious. Please pick one male and one female.
6) Agent of the Year- this is the person with the most total impact on the marketcenter, has grown the most since they came to KW in personality, business and involvement, is the most “Keller-ized”.
Whew! Boy, we really know how to be #1 at something, don’t we? Hey, we’ve got to fill that white space on our business cards with something of importance right?
We would love to hear your comments. Please cast your vote for the “Silly or Stupid Award” given out in your office. 
I think we are one banquet away from the “I went potty all by myself” award.
By the way, would this comment qualify me for the Spouter of Rhetoric Award?
April 9th, 2007 at 11:34 amBut seriously folks, I’d like to win the BIGGEST 1099 Award. Ironically, we don’t have a category for that one. Hmmm…
April 9th, 2007 at 11:39 amI hope the great folks at Keller Williams have a good sense of humor. Otherwise… we might get a letter saying we are not “Keller-ized” enough to remain licensed there.
(Hey, Jim. The “I went potty all by myself” award – I know which agent you’re talking about.) ha-ha
April 9th, 2007 at 11:42 amAs a relative newcomer to KW, I like the term “Keller-zed”.
Reminds me of the the old Ellen Degeneres sitcom where Ellen tries to keep her friend from buying a Saturn. She tries to rescue her friend from the Saturn Car Dealership where all the Saturn owners act like part of a cult.
To keep from being “Kellerized”, I make sure I never drink from anything that isn’t factory sealed.
April 9th, 2007 at 2:07 pmAll though there is not an award for them, perhaps each office could collectively present the donut eaters award to the agents who constantly walk into the break room or kitchen looking for some kind of sweets left over from another meeting or brought in by a vendor. By the way, I like the largest 1099 award.
April 10th, 2007 at 3:28 amAs an ex-KW agent the “spirit” type awards always seemed stupid to me. But who knows maybe it kept some agent motivated.
To me I would like to see awards for highest net revenue. How much you gross means nothing if you spend it all on advertising and other expenses.
April 11th, 2007 at 8:35 amVery true, Ken – the net revenue is the most important, isn’t it? Although, I doubt very many agents are going to open their accounting books for all to see.
April 16th, 2007 at 11:17 amNo I doubt many would be willing to share the details of how little they make. Maybe if more agents would be honest about how much they net the public wouldn’t think that we make too much money.
Too many agents put on a huge show and drive the expensive car and other items to look like they are doing good. As some say “fake it until you make it”.
April 16th, 2007 at 11:40 amGee – I really feel left on the awards.
Since, I work for a brokerage with only myself – I have no awards, plaques, ribbons, citation (not even traffic ones), or certificates on my walls or desk.
Guess if I am pressed I can always be the #1 producer, #1 lister, #1 buyer’s agent, #1 in transaction volume, and #1 in dollar volume.
True story. A mortgage broker was looking to purchase a condo here. He wanted me to know that he was very smart. He told me that he was the number 2 producer in his office. Asked him how many brokers in his office. He proudly responded 6. He explained to me that he had many years of working in the mortgage industry and he worked full-time. I then asked how many brokers were full-time in his office – just him. hmmmm.
After reading this post – I will have to go out and buy some trophies so that I can motivate myself.
April 19th, 2007 at 10:57 amThere is a guy here that advertises that he is #1 in volume, #1 in listings, and #1 in customer satisfaction. The office has less agents then are on my team and the whole office does less volume then my worst producer. Guess you work with whatever you have…even if it isn’t much.
April 19th, 2007 at 7:24 pmGlenn and Ken, great comments. I agree that you have to put the “#1″ into context.
While there is certainly nothing wrong with a pat on the back for a job well done, our industry does tend to get a little carried away.
April 21st, 2007 at 6:32 amI just realized that – according to Google – I am #1 for Biggest 1099 award… Ha!
April 21st, 2007 at 6:44 amWoo-hoo, Jim. I’ll have the red carpet rolled out and a certificate printed up by dinner tonight.
So, honey, does this mean I can go power shopping later today?
April 21st, 2007 at 6:57 amJim – is the biggest 1099 award for the size of the 1009 (dimensions) or dollar amount? LOL
April 23rd, 2007 at 4:35 amHow about an award for manipulating the numbers the best. Just noticed an ad this morning that was for “top lister in X city”. The agent has a disclaimer at the bottom that said “She had the highest amount of listings for the week of XX/XX/2006″.
OK first off a week doesn’t mean anything anyways, but to be using a week from almost a year ago is really pathetic. So I looked it up and sure enough it’s because she only lists 15 or so homes a year, but that week in 2006 she listed 12 properties of her own units (a small condo conversion).
April 23rd, 2007 at 7:30 amKen – now that is one for the books. LOL
April 24th, 2007 at 7:13 amKen,
In my opinion, that’s unethical behavior. It’s not an accurate portrayal of her accomplishments and should be dealt with by your association.
April 24th, 2007 at 7:59 amGlenn said: “Jim – is the biggest 1099 award for the size of the 1009 (dimensions) or dollar amount? LOL”
Glenn,
We’re Realtors. So there should be an award for both, right?
April 24th, 2007 at 8:01 amLoved the post.. can’t wait to show my wife who used to be the Director of Career Development for a CENTURY 21 office…. Our last big Franchise gave us an orientation of all the #1′s and we had to sit through it for over an hour. We had the impression our office fees were going to pay for awards….
April 30th, 2007 at 8:05 pm